a Boy London t shirt would be cool to own.

p

girls that ride track bikes and wear Supreme hats.

p

Understand me,

you can’t.

I am here and you are There;

a whole world is between our lips and thoughts.

Should we ever close this gap, my dreams would

Fulfill.

I can’t get past this block, this barricade that’s been built

between us both.

Perhaps because ‘twas you who created it.

All I desire is to know where I am in your Heart,

for this truth haunts me.

The ambiguity of you thoughts towards me

roll me into a

ball.

p

Did you get into Berkeley?

@otchkies

Nope… SFSU here I come ahah

p

My Box

Stay away from me and

leave me here in my little box.

Don’t rush me or disturb my rest

for I am Waiting.

I wait for a turn in life-

for spontaneous combustion of life’s basket

into adventure, into excitement.

To find a Lover and run freely

around the quantum strings

living, being, doing.

So, I wait here;

my box is quiet

but they don’t know

what is to come

when I leave

My box.

p
p

The Cliff

For so long, I have been journeying

to this point where I sit now.

Fallen, ran, escaped, endured, survived,

won.

The trail had narrowed and the trees seemed too close

but

I have reached the cliff.

All is before me;

what with its uncertainty and entropy for me to

Conquer.

The sweet mountain air soothes me now

for soon, I will enter the Congo.

p

Rome

my mind can only focus on you.

every thought, every image, every nuance of ideas;

pertains to you.

head and heart cannot agree to evade your essence,

but their vectors always meet

at your face in my mind’s eye

with both direction and magnitude that I cannot stop.

If all roads lead to Rome, I lead to you.

p

Lives set apart to thrive together

as the Sun and moon

making their eternal dance throughout the

Cosmos.

allow your beauty, your radiance, your Light,

to fall on me so that i can reflect it too all

as i sit here unable to do much.

A life as one but made of two

puts my heart in a Daze

as I dream real dreams of fake scenes

that i can only wish to occur.

Tonight, I will howl.

p

funny thing is Humanity,

such fragility and arrogance.

a feeling of Deterioration seems to

burgeon.

words fly as daggers and Ignorance corrode me

and i want it to

stop.

pull away from me,

or maybe me from you,

the hostility reeks and clouds my view

of the beauty i saw in your face and your ways

which now has come to rot in my heart.

funny, twas you who did attract.

funny, tis me that is now disgusted.

funny thing is humanity.

p

where has my directed Love gone?

I recall that I sent it Your way.

where must you have rested it upon?

‘twas not a leaf escaping and rowing

as a Boat with the helmsman absent,

but an understated messenger Boy 

with a purpose but fearfully stagnant.

seems my love is but a wave

to the Ocean of your soul

pushed around, played around

making a mockery of me: the Fool.

a fool to think a jester can woo a Queen,

divine and sublime in her way,

and return a champion with her love,

an dream that just won’t decay.

as they replay and pay me visits,

I lie and rest through the irritation,

the visions: You plus I

are annihilated by your frustration

of my love that passions as though of a pork

and seems not to end through the seasons.

maybe when we reach life’s diverging Fork

I’ll take one and you take the other.

p

Distance

I feel nothing.

As if I am floating by on a 

Cloud

All alone and drifting away;

As all eyes are unaware

And staring toward everything else.

Ist’ safe to display my true heart while

I am but an unknown fly? 

I buzz and buzz but it is unimportant

And Incoherent.

‘Tis my distant adoration of

You

That causes my melancholy

For you, my Ophelia.

It seems like we may never touch

But our gazes, like arrows, can still

Cross paths;

As the flame from yours melts me.

p

We’ve been talking more lately and I feel so warm inside when we talk about literature and music. She’s so deep and passionate but quiet. She, oddly enough, initiated conversation and even sent me a super long excerpt from the awesome book that she  suggested to me in my email and showed me a few of the songs she’s into right now. I know its nothing, but at least it’s something. I don’t want to feel anything because I don’t want to get hurt but she might be worth it.

p

I’ve got lots of time to read and write now.

p

stuff to get off my chest

I have this friend that, I believe, is the most beautiful person I have met. I just don’t know what to do about it because she isn’t the type of person who dates and probably has no interest in me but we have very similar tastes in music, style, and outlook on life. I wish I could just sit and speak with her… I know this sounds stupid and cliche but this is exactly how I feel right now. My insides feel like jelly. My arms feel like fire. My head feels like a rock; I wish i could just drop it.

p